Opening Up, My Thoughts on Community
I've been focused a lot recently on things I don't have, namely a Community. I moved away from home after college with only a few friends in New York. Then, out of necessity, created a community from strangers to form a family. Like all communities it was flawed, but it was beautiful and strong because we all chose to be there and contribute to those relationships.
Since coming back to my hometown I've spent the majority of my time with my actual family. I've enjoyed this so much. After five years without them, it still feels like such a treat to see them whenever I want. But if I' being completely honest it's felt mostly like "catching up," like a majority of our time spent together has been making up for lost time instead of creating new memories and living in the present. I keep waiting for someone to walk around the corner with my suitcases and say, "Ok Sydney, it's time to go!" But this weekend I attended a family wedding and something shifted.
Being surrounded by my family celebrating the hope that comes with a new chapter in life, and in love, people living in the present but looking to the future with open eyes and full hearts. It helped me realize a lot of what I've been missing is not a community, (I've got that built in now!) but within myself.
I've been cautiously open but keeping my head down. Going to work, seeing my family, enjoying my new life but not expecting too much from it. But what if I took a more active role in my own life? Reached out, made plans, got my hopes up? It makes me nervous to even type! I do miss my friends and my old life. But they were once my new life too, and what if I hadn't been open to them at the time? I'd have missed out on so much!
I apologize if this is all a bit too "dear diary" for you. But if that's the case maybe this isn't the blog for you. I certainly don't know everything, but I'm interested in sharing the pieces I pick up as I move along. It sure is helpful to me, and maybe it can be helpful to you too.
I'm putting this out there because I genuenly want your engagement and opinions as well. Not for the attention or praise, but to continue the conversation and maybe learn more about myself in turn. It's the meaty, meaningful stuff that matters to me. What about you? - xo Sydney
I can completely relate to this post.
ReplyDeleteBuilding a new network of friends is hard when you are out of school. People have to worry about their jobs, their family, their kids. There isn't as much time to socialize.
You are also touching on more than just "Cultivating your Community".
When I read this, I immediately thought "getting out of your comfort zone", and "Finding yourself".
These are all things that I've been thinking about and working towards since last summer.
When you said "Take a more active role in my own life", what did you mean by that? Are you having trouble taking action towards what you want?
Are you trying to find what you want, or is it that you know what you want, but don't know how to get there?
One of the things I've done is really try to understand what I want out of life (work in progress), and try to find groups that will help me get those things or make those things reality. I've always wanted to help people, so I've been looking into groups where I might be able to volunteer or teach, which led me to teaching technology skills to people with autism through the non profit called Encircle Technologies. Its been both fun and rewarding!
The hard part for me is getting up the gumption to get out of my comfort zone. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm terribly introverted, and can have pretty bad social anxiety at times, so it's hard for me to go somewhere wehere I don't know anyone, or try to strike up a conversation with someone I've never met before.
But every time I've left my bubble, I've never regretted it, and it has always provided me with positive experiences and new opportunities.
You are completely justified in being nervous when dreaming up a life you want. Its kind of scary to set expectations, say "I want that", and the actually decide to go get it, but it's pretty exciting too right?
I'd love to talk more about this with you. Lets keep this conversation going!
You're right Jerico, I'm definitely in the process of finding myself and deciding what I want my life to look like (at least the part that's in my control). How are you doin on that front?
DeleteAs for taking a more active roll in my life I'm speaking mostly about my social life. Making a point to reach out to old friends (hey there 👋🏼) and taking opportunities I'm given to make new ones. I too am SUCH an introvert. It's like you read my mind! I have trouble meeting new people but also with the almost inevitable random bump-ins that happen in a small town. It can be exhausting for me just to go to the grocery store sometimes. But I'm working on gauging better when I need the alone time and when I can just get over myself and walk into new situations. For instance, my upcoming London trip. SO excited. SO terrified! It's also difficult to re-introduce yourself into situations where everyone feels like they know you but you feel like a totally different person. Ya know?
It's good to know I have an ally. Please let's keep this up!
My default setting is to take the active role. To make plans, get my hopes up but my work ethic higher. For when I fail I learn and I know failure is the prerequisite to success not the opposite. Wasn't until the recent 12 months that I began practicing the other side of the spectrum. For nothing more than self awareness.
ReplyDeleteSydney I think it is awesome you see the power of community and family it took me 24 years and losing both my parents to understand how strong that bond is.
If more self awareness is what you seek Sydney and Jerico I think you are on the right track. Stay out of those comfort zones at all cost!