I Heart NY?

Life in NYC really is like the Fleet Week episode of Sex in the City.  Living here, especially if you are single, you develop a relationship with the city.  There are highs; when you feel the city lifting you up and you are finding new and inspiring thoughts around every corner. And then there are lows; when even the sight of your Metro Card or the thought of facing the crowds on your way to work makes you want to hurl things across the room.  But generally speaking, you just have to make the best of it. 

Unfortunately, lately, New York has been serving me a kick in the pants. Something just seems to be getting lost in translation.  I am at a big turning point in my career and things are tough out there.  There are not a lot of auditions right now and though I am in class I am finding it hard to make goals, and feeling frustrated that I'm not getting to express myself to my full potential.  

My work life is beginning to take more from me that it is giving back in return and it's getting tough to make it through even the shortest shifts.  I am sick and tired of having to worry about my personal safety when I'm at work.  I don't show up in a costume I made at home, I show up to do a real job, and I utilize skills that I have spent years developing. Yet, from every angle I am being harassed and disrespected by people who condescend to have control over me. And winter is coming. 

I fear I am becoming that friend who is so emotional all the time that they are simply exhausting to be around.  And I wouldn't blame my friends for feeling that way, I don't even like being around myself right now.  It seems to me that every conversation I have starts and ends in a negative place.  All the positive affirmations and tactics I usually use to pull myself out of a slump are falling flat and I am finding myself at a loss as to what to do.  

It was brought to my attention recently by a close friend of mine that I am less than I used to be.  Less vibrant, less courageous, less enthusiastic; that makes me sad.  I let New York take those things from me and I want them back. I am accepting any and all suggestions. -xo Sydney