Chasing Time and Changing Tactics
I find myself starting a lot of posts here recently but not finishing them. I start with a great idea that I'm really turning over in my mind and then I get lost halfway through the narrative and all my inspiration simply disappears.
I've been really hard on myself lately, trying to do everything and be everything for everyone in my life, but not really showing up for myself. I've lost my balance. And that seems to have sapped all the openness and vulnerability right out of me.
I've been very anxious about time. I woke up in the middle of the night this weekend and spent far too long staring at my ceiling mentally going through my calendar trying to find time to relax, and getting anxious that there wasn't enough time for ME!
Time is a funny thing, it seems at once fleeting and infinite. I feel an urgency in every day to fit in all the items on my to-do list, giving to my loved ones what I feel they deserve. But what about what I deserve? I deserve the opportunity to relax, to think, to rest, to read, to create. Yet I am constantly letting other people and objectives get in the way of that. I realize this is a contant balancing act we all face as we go through life, and only I can shift my focus and energy. So I guess what I'm saying here is that I am renewing my commitment to myself and to that relationship. Because a better me can only better my other relationships as well. I'm ready to feed my soul so that I can open it up to others and we can all grow stronger together.
I've had a lot of distractions lately, my birthday, my trip to London, evolving new relationships, all of which are good but I find myself now in the valley after reaching a very high peak.
Just as my life has undergone some positive changes lately, so my self-care routine needs to adapt to these changes. And when other people reach out, I need to let them help me. And change tactics! If something works for a while and then isn't helping, let's try something else! Who's with me! -xo Sydney
I've been really hard on myself lately, trying to do everything and be everything for everyone in my life, but not really showing up for myself. I've lost my balance. And that seems to have sapped all the openness and vulnerability right out of me.
I've been very anxious about time. I woke up in the middle of the night this weekend and spent far too long staring at my ceiling mentally going through my calendar trying to find time to relax, and getting anxious that there wasn't enough time for ME!
Time is a funny thing, it seems at once fleeting and infinite. I feel an urgency in every day to fit in all the items on my to-do list, giving to my loved ones what I feel they deserve. But what about what I deserve? I deserve the opportunity to relax, to think, to rest, to read, to create. Yet I am constantly letting other people and objectives get in the way of that. I realize this is a contant balancing act we all face as we go through life, and only I can shift my focus and energy. So I guess what I'm saying here is that I am renewing my commitment to myself and to that relationship. Because a better me can only better my other relationships as well. I'm ready to feed my soul so that I can open it up to others and we can all grow stronger together.
I've had a lot of distractions lately, my birthday, my trip to London, evolving new relationships, all of which are good but I find myself now in the valley after reaching a very high peak.
Just as my life has undergone some positive changes lately, so my self-care routine needs to adapt to these changes. And when other people reach out, I need to let them help me. And change tactics! If something works for a while and then isn't helping, let's try something else! Who's with me! -xo Sydney
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