Welcome to the Real World
Balance. I've been thinking, and writing, a good deal about it lately. And I'm currently experiencing my longest period of balance in a while, which ironically makes me feel slightly unbalanced? I'm trying to push passed those feelings of trepidation and enjoy, while they last, the fruits of all the hard work I've put in over the last year. It's ok to feel good, right?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not running around all day doing cartwheels, but generally, most of the time, I feel comfortable in my skin and in my circumstances.
The question I keep asking myself is, why does this balance feel so disorienting? Is it that I thought it would feel different, more real? Like all the boxes on my mental health to do list would be checked off and I would "arrive"? Settle into a home, check! Buy a new (to you) car, check! Acknowledge why you're feeling shitty, check! Develop stable relationships, check! Congratulations Sydney, you have accomplished the following steps of Adulting and are ready for your Real real life to begin. OF COURSE NOT. Well, not consciously.
But isn't that how life goes? At least up until college. You're born, childhood begins. You attend Elementary School, check! Middle School, check! High School, check! College, check! But after that, what are the steps? When does life stop being practice and start being real? Surprise! The answer is, it's always been real. So why now does it feel like the choices I make finally have true consequences?
What gives Universe? Couldn't you have given me a sign this was coming?
So how am I dealing with this sudden reality? I'm trying to enjoy the balance, but remember the teeter will eventually totter. I'm trying to remain vigilant about what I'm feeling and why. I'm making plans for the first time in a while (HELLO LONDON), and I'm keeping after my voice. That is my metaphorical voice, continuing to try and create and find new ways to express myself.
What about you? How do you deal with the real world? Whether you're new to navigating this or you're a trusted captain of the Sea of Reality I want to know your tactics. -xo Sydney
Don't get me wrong, I'm not running around all day doing cartwheels, but generally, most of the time, I feel comfortable in my skin and in my circumstances.
The question I keep asking myself is, why does this balance feel so disorienting? Is it that I thought it would feel different, more real? Like all the boxes on my mental health to do list would be checked off and I would "arrive"? Settle into a home, check! Buy a new (to you) car, check! Acknowledge why you're feeling shitty, check! Develop stable relationships, check! Congratulations Sydney, you have accomplished the following steps of Adulting and are ready for your Real real life to begin. OF COURSE NOT. Well, not consciously.
But isn't that how life goes? At least up until college. You're born, childhood begins. You attend Elementary School, check! Middle School, check! High School, check! College, check! But after that, what are the steps? When does life stop being practice and start being real? Surprise! The answer is, it's always been real. So why now does it feel like the choices I make finally have true consequences?
What gives Universe? Couldn't you have given me a sign this was coming?
So how am I dealing with this sudden reality? I'm trying to enjoy the balance, but remember the teeter will eventually totter. I'm trying to remain vigilant about what I'm feeling and why. I'm making plans for the first time in a while (HELLO LONDON), and I'm keeping after my voice. That is my metaphorical voice, continuing to try and create and find new ways to express myself.
What about you? How do you deal with the real world? Whether you're new to navigating this or you're a trusted captain of the Sea of Reality I want to know your tactics. -xo Sydney
Comments
Post a Comment